Accept your Freak

I have just experienced the New Zealand Burlesque Festival 2018 both as a performer and as an audience member.

I knew I wouldn’t be disappointed and I Congratulate all – the organisers, the performers, the duchess, duke, king and queen. Of course there is the Golden Garters – congratulations to those nominated and the people awarded. You are all so deserving. The glitz, the glamour, the support, the adornment, the opulance, the faith, understanding and gloriousness the industry represents to me in one place. My “one stop shop”.

It was glorious. I felt on top of the world.

The Golden Garters were announced, and then it happened; no I didn’t get an award (I wasn’t nominated) but I did receive messages from valued performers. Messages of disappointment, messages of unworthiness, messages of why do I bother?

I can’t conceal the fact I have been there myself in the lifetime of my Burlesque career – the truth is we all feel this way at some point.

The secret to overcoming them inpart I find, is to recognise a few points.

Awards like the Golden Garters and the Grand Tease awards are subjective to the people who have voted – they do NOT represent the full opinion of all of the Burlesque community. Every Performer is fabulous, unique and rocking their sexy asses on the stage. Every Performer has someone who idolises them and their craft and everyone will have that person who says “what the fuck was that?”.

At competitions try to have a self care kit at hand. Something that makes you happy, something that helps you to focus and for God’s sake don’t compare yourself to others.

After the show watch your own video – view it as an audience member, and be fair to you.

Eat right; now this doesn’t mean eat wholesome food – eat right to suit your mood. If it is comfort food you crave – dam well have it AND without guilt. If you feel like eating the wholesome stuff do that!

Figure out your creature comforts. A favorite blanky wrapped around you with Netflix on demand surrounded by your fur babies (if you have some) will do wonders – AND do it without guilt.

Some people walk and exercise – but not me!! But if that is your creature comfort then go for it.

Take time out from Burlesque – rediscover time with friends, other hobbies, walk along the beach etc etc..

Finally, calm ya tits! What you feel is perfectly natural, go with it, ride the tide, and let yourself recover.

Credit to Constance Mayhem for her valued phrases in her workshop which I will treasure for Life,

2 thoughts on “Accept your Freak

  1. Beautiful Bethany, you are part of the heart of our community. What a wonderful post to put up and so timely.
    As a presenter of the GGs this year I had a heads up about who was nominated and who won. SO HARD. I got to go through photos of all the nominees and present them in a PowerPoint and so I had the amazing privilege of finding out about every single nominee whether I knew them or not. Some had no photos online at all, some I never knew had the skills that others had nominated them for. And I had time to process the small victories and disappointments that came along with knowing my picks had won or lost, as well as my own.
    Thanks to Pixie who has put this into words, I feel this NZBF was about people being and feeling SEEN. I don’t often feel seen, especially not in Auckland, a city that has resolutely blocked my participation in its scene. I was working to make sure everyone nominated felt seen, and disappointment is natural eh. Lord knows I nearly popped a fufu valve as I had to process mine without sharing it. But because I had a head start, I discovered something.
    What I found in myself this weekend was Grace. I can’t share all the disappointments as to do so gives them a life beyond what they deserve, but I realised that something was missing for me and it was Grace. Understanding that everyone has their insecurities and complications, they are wrapped up in their own stuff and they are hoping to be seen. And this weekend I made an effort to see people and to make sure they knew they were Seen, if just by me.
    Because of this I feel that what you do – interviewing members of the community in this blog, is such a beautiful gift as it allows people to be seen and heard. Thank you for your Grace xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Constance Craving for your lovely comments. You are right that is exactly what NZBF was about to me too – being seen and the producers, MisRed and Miss Cherry Lashes did exactly that


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